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the womb was cold
the engine drowning out the knell
it had her smell
the shadow formed an empty sphere
we hit that deer
i really hate it when you're here
it makes me sick
i lose my mind we're so unclear
i scare myself
i'm just as bad as all those guys
with depraved eyes
you turn the corner and speed up
you see your breath
you see the steeple through the mist
she made me lunch
she made me cold she dropped her wrist
everyone's in love
everything's in place
firemen save cats
while you only save face
when was the last time
you changed how you spoke
try to make more friends
try to make more jokes
the cafe christmas lights
reflect on your coke
through the wall at night
listen to her choke
Watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show tonight. It rocked! What a soundtrack!
Makes me wanna write new stuff. I think I want my next album after the '60s one
that's coming out this year to be like a glam rock, Earthbound-esque,
Kate Bush, MF DOOM pop opera with Evangelion vibes and more focused songwriting.
It's all coming together.
Haven't posted one of these in a while because that's how it be with
these things! Working a shitty job rn and starting some uni work.
The album is progressing at a snail's pace. Everything is sort of a mess
at the moment in my life. I need to make little pages for Hedgehog Tennis
and the mixtape I released in January on this website but haven't.
Maybe I'll do that tomorrow? I've finished recording four of the album's
songs and listening to them actually makes me pretty excited about it.
I just wish I had the money to just pay someone else to make all the music
videos for it because I can't be bothered with them at all. I know what
they'll all be, but I'm just not that interested in making them. I've been
playing ALOT of video games recently. I've been reading Murukami books
and listening to the Earthbound soundtrack, late '60s post Smile Beach Boys,
and Adam Green recently. To be honest I haven't really been listening to
music that much. Will I ever play live shows? Will I get a better job?
Will we finish the album? Find out next time!
SUPER SECRET PROJECT IS DONE. Now I've gotta finish the album
and make promotional shit for everything. I have like NO music
video ideas so wish me luck. I'm staying up late into the night
again since I don't have uni so I can wake up when I want (although
I don't stay up too late so I can actually get up at a reasonable time).
Haven't actually been listening to much music atm. Just been playing
video games, watching streams/videos, and watching movies because
that's what I'm in the mood to do. When I HAVE been listening to
music I've been listening to the early Roxy Music stuff with
Brian Eno because it rocks.
My super secret project is very almost done. Yesterday I hung
out with my friends who I hadn't seen in a long time so it was
nice. Today I went Christmas shopping and now I don't have much
money. I watched Lost In Translation by Sofia Coppola this evening
and now I'm watching it again because I like it a lot. I'd really
like to write a short book or a screenplay, but I'm worried that
since I'm quite naive and don't have much life experience, I wouldn't
be able to write characters as good as I'd like to and it would
just be a bit cringeworthy.
I am ready to get back to work. Lots more good work will
continue to come out of Cleall HQ once again. Hooray!
I feel better now, it's roses now.
I've decided that until I've gotten all my uni work done, I'm just gonna
completely ignore my music, because there's no point in stressing over
not doing it when I physically do not have the time to do it. Despite not
having time to do anything, all I've done so far today is procrastinate.
Unless something crazy happens this will by my last little post until all
my work is handed in. Goodbye!
I am really busy all the time but feel like I get nothing done.
I'm listening to ...and star power which I don't think I've listened
to in almost two years maybe. I think I like it better than I remember.
Check it out if u wanna hear one of the best albums ever made. My single
came out and was met with indifference which is okay because I don't care
about it either. I wish I knew how to make friends because I want to
see movies and get food with people, but I feel uncomfortable around everyone.
I still lack interest in my album but the super secret project I am making
still excites me. I think I just need to rush making every project from now
on because otherwise it's not fun. I don't know what to do anymore at the
moment so I'll just keep doing what I'm supposed to and hopefully it will be
okay in the end. Thank u for reading if u are. I promise that there is work
in my head that will one day materialise and u will like it as much as I like
...and star power.
I have the first song ready to finish recording for the album. I'm not interested
in 60s music anymore so I'm finding it hard to finish. Trying to listen to all
the stuff I used to like to give me some motivation. I am very busy at the moment.
Hello hello hello. I have finished recording my top secret super secret
project. Now I need to finish it. This top secret super secret mega secret
project is also being used for some of my uni work, so it will be a while
before it is completed. Henry is still editing. I forgot to give my final
update on Serial Experiments Lain. I finished it a few weeks ago.
The ending was absoloutely amazing. It's quite a heavy show, partly thematically
but I also just mean dialogue heavy, so with a brain like mine it's hard to
pay attention to it for long; so I don't see myself rewatching it anytime
soon. I'd like to though. Maybe I will play the ps1 game next. I have been
playing Earthbound recently. The gameplay is ass, but the writing, art & music
is fun & I think the dialogue is much better than any other game from this
era. It's so slick & whimsical. I am half way through, from what I've read
the second half features less bullshit than the first half when it comes to
the gameplay. I've been meaning to get a better job than my current one,
but I kind of can't be bothered. I am starting to think about what I am going
to do next year. All I have planned is releasing some of the stuff I'm
currently working on, writing the next album & playing shows. I am trying to
figure out a way to keep lots of online content coming out next year, but
I don't want to do lots of covers like I did in the summer. I'll do some
cover youtube videos around when ABE comes out, but then I'll prob be dunzo
with that. I'll try to do something clever.
Hello, if the month and a half of no blog posts is any indication,
I have been very busy. ABE album sessions were so much fun. Henry,
who is producing the album is currently editing shit. When he's done
with that I will record the things we missed out during the sessions,
with that being pretty much all the midi stuff lol. Outside of this
I'm working on another top secret project which is almost completely
recorded. That alongside uni & work is all I've been doing since august.
Suuper busy. I now have the sampler I wanted to use for the live act,
so we're rehearsing again. Hopefully we can have a full set ready asap,
because making new instrumentals & teaching my songs is super time
consuming. I'm at a stage right now where I just have a fuck ton of stuff
to get done, but it will all be out of the way by Christmas. After that
I'll just be gigging, starting my next uni semester & working. I'll prob
start writing the next record next year too. So yeah I'll try to keep updating
this frequently again. I don't think anyone reads it but it's fun to write.
Tomorrow I will leaving home for the next two weeks to record
"ABE APEMAN'S PEACE PARADE". 12 songs. I might be providing updates
on my twitter & instagram or I might not. I'd like to make a behind
the scenes video for the sessions but I think I'd feel awkward
filming everything so we'll see if I do.
IM BACK FROM THE DEAD! My sister & her boyfriend got covid so the
recording sessions for the new album have been rescheduled for a few weeks.
I've been learning a song from evangelion on piano and it's hard as hell but
I'm making progress. Since we're not recording the album next week like we
we were going to, I'm going to keep working on a new project which is
sounding pretty cool.
Since the last post there was a bit of a development. I reuploaded that old video
of me walking through town playing a kinks song, and it got 50k views which is the
most attention I've had in my life. All the voice compliments & marriage proposals
I've gotten have been great. However I've also felt slightly sick since this happened.
I know that this will most likely be the most attention my work will get for a long
time, if not ever. Some people went on from the video to check out my original work
and followed me in other places which means so much to me, but alot of people just
asked me to cover other 60's songs and moved on. While this is flattering, I don't
want to cover 60's songs for a living; I want to be known for my own compositions.
I consider myself to be a much better writer than anything else. As the video got
lots of attention over the past few days I was hooked on my phone watching all these
people come in and it makes me feel a strange way. I'm going to take a break from
posting tiktoks every other day. I'm still going to post stuff but I don't know
if this schedule is good creatively and for presenting myself in the right way.
I think I'd like to do this sort of thing around music releases and then go quiet
in between. That way I can slowly work on more original art rather than dumping out
unoriginal rubbish every week. I love that this small success has brought my art some
attention, but I don't want to beg for attention and pander. I'm back on my Syd Barret
shit. I've got a biography about him which is in depth to a fault. Like where I could
imagine a documentary or something briefly mentioning something an old friend said
about him and then move on, this biography goes into that friend's whole life story
and family tree which bores me. So I mostly skip that stuff when it starts and skim
until I see Syd's name again lol. I've done almost fuck all with actually making
things over the past few days but that's okay. I'm just gonna indulge myself in lots
of art and then get back to work as soon as I can. I watched the final Evangelion
rebuild film yesterday. I think it's my favourite out of all of them but it might
take some more watches to appreciate it more. Probably gonna be a gap of new stuff
coming out now, but I'll be working hard on lots this whole time. Thank u for reading.
Hello, the single is mixed & mastered hopefully for good. Now just the music video & cover.
Uploading things on TikTok is still going really well, it's very nice to finally have at least
a few people listening to my work. Now I want to talk about one of my favourite songs
"Flash Delirium" by MGMT. This might be in my top 3 songs ever if not top 5 lol. Straight up
everything about it is perfect. I can't even imagine what it must be like to have written
a song that good. The song doesn't really have a chorus, but if it did it would be the
"even if this hall collapses" part, which has an absoloutely perfect melody. It's super
simple too; it just goes down the white keys on a piano. The production is also amazing.
Those horns, the guitars, the way the vocals are mixed! wow! Then the vocals & the lyrics are
just what make it perfect for me. I read this: "these lines were created by them making random
noises and writing lyrics based on what they heard" omg. Anyways the new single was super
influenced by it so PLEASE for your own sake give flash delirium a few listens.
Also I still haven't finished Serial Experiments Lain because it makes me sad.
Rehearsals for the live act are happening. Sue the spiders, sink the welsh.
Wow so I've started reuploading my YouTube videos to TikTok every other day,
and so far they've been really well recieved. If you're here from my TikTok,
thanks for checking out my work! So yeah the current vibe is gonna be TikToks
every other day, & then YouTube videos every Friday. When I run out of YouTube
videos to reupload to my TikTok I'll have to start making videos specifially for
TikTok, so I'm trying to come up with stuff in advance now. Outside of this there's
lots in the works. I've put my tape machine up for sale, so as long as it sells soon,
I can use that money to get the gear I need to gig which is finna gonna be crazy.
I'm also about to start doing the preperations for the recording sessions for the next
album which is very exciting. It's gonna sound crazy, I can't wait for people to
hear these songs. Outside of this if I'm remembering right, there's just one more project that I'm
starting to work on which is gonna be very cool. I had some really good chinese food
I've been working on a new youtube video over the past few days & today I finished it.
I'm very proud of it. I've gotten some feedback on Hedgehog Tennis & there's actually more
to do in order to get it perfect, so I'm not gonna master it through tape anymore because
otherwise I'd have to wait even longer to sell it which I don't want to do because I want to
get the sampler I need for the live act as soon as possible. Anyways, going back to the video,
I'm gonna try to keep up a streak of realeasing new videos every friday from now until I'm
unable to for whatever reason. That's all for now.
Killed a big-ass spider today it was crazy. Here is a song I made last year.
It's got real drums & piano both played by me; but its not performed very well. Nothing really
fits together. It's also not a very good song. This is prob gonna be the only place it will be
released EVER! wow! I've got alot to do over the next few days. So close to having all my shit
together so that things can keep moving along. But this afternoon I'm just gonna finish off the
instrumental for the single bside. The aside is completely done tho. Anyways that's all there is
to say rn, I'll prob write another one of these when everything I need is hopefully in place.
With the single being only 2 songs, this has taken me wayy to long.
I'm finishing the whole thing today though. Then I need to make the music video
and the cover. It's gonna be a while before it comes out tho :(
All the ffamf videos are out now, I released them every friday.
I kind of like the idea of a video every friday so ignoring today I might start
doing that every week because from what I know putting out stuff all the time
can get you a lot of traction. I've been watching a show called
"Serial Experiments Lain". It's very bleak but there's alot I like about it.
There's very little humour or humanity to it which I generally don't like in
art, for example my least favourite Lynch film I've seen was "Wild at Heart"
mostly for this reason; it was obviously their intention to make the film be like
that, but I just personally struggle to connect to that sort of thing. Actually,
I don't know if I'd describe Wild at Heart as being humourless, it's definitely
quite whimsical from what I remember, and Nicholas Cage's character was pretty funny,
but what I mean is that it never feels like any characters react how you would in
real life in the situations that are presented to them. But then meanwhile in "Eraserhead",
the protagonist, Henry, acts more like how you'd expect him to act in the situations
that he finds himself in, which means that within all the bizarre shit in that film,
you can always hang on to Henry. The protagonist in Lain is almost like this,
in a scary situation she'll usually be scared and so on, but there's some moments
where she just won't react to some weird ass shit, or she'll be part of the weird shit.
Then there's some other characters like Lain's dad or school friends who are more normal,
but we never see these people have normal conversations with Lain because she usually just
brushes them off and goes somewhere else. I think the fact that they give you just a few
normal interactions, along with the cool aesthetics and weird story are why I've stuck
with the show so far despite how bleak it is. Alsoo if you're reading this and you've seen
the show, that streetlight scene in episode two is so damn unsettling!
Wow, two days in a row! The new single is coming along well now, I should have
it done tomorrow. Maybe. I just watched a video of a symphony orchestra playing
evangelion songs, and there's a part in one of the songs I might sample on my album
after Abe Apeman. I'm so excited to make that album. I think Abe Apeman is going to be
special, but I'm usually always raring to move on to the next project once I've decided
what it will be. I'm going to try and keep my mouth closed on my ideas for that album though
for now. Need to do more stuff.
It is almost midnight as I'm writing this. I'm working on a new single at the moment,
but the progress is slow. I'm very proud of this song from a songwriting standpoint
so I want the arrangement & production to be as good, but I'm finding this difficult to do.
I'd really like to soundtrack a film. I co-wrote the soundtrack to a game a few weeks ago
with an indian guy whos name I forget; but the game ended up unfinished so that work won't
ever be showcased. I want to meet & work with more artists in all the artforms, other than
books because my brain is too rotted to read anymore, but I'm not sure how to find people.
Once I get some gear I need we can start performing my songs live. Hopefully soon. I got
a new phone so I've been using social media too much again.
Whoops! I forgot to update the website! I'm so cool!
FOOD FOR ALL MY FRIENDS is out. On Spotify all the songs have almost
overtaken all the Expedition to the Underworld songs in term of streams
which is really cool. The few people who've listened to the EP seem to like
it which makes me glad. I'd like to be able to promote my music more, but that
would require a live act in part, which is taking too long to get together.
I'm working on something, but there's some equipment I need first.
Anyway, there's more FFAMF videos to come on my YouTube, and I'd like to record
some more covers & things like that. So yeah, lots more to come, thanks for reading :)
All the ffamf stuff is ready to come out and everything.
I should be recording the next album, Abe Apeman's Peace Parade, soon.
I think after that record I want to make the best pop album I can, then I've
got two record ideas left and then I think I'll finish making these albums.
Most artists seem to make a really good early string of records, and then
spend the rest of their lives trying to make people care again so instead I'll
just make the good albums and be dun wiv it! I think making music like this is
a very self serving thing to do anyway so I'd rather contribute to other
people's projects instead. That is my stupid dumbass blog post, thanks.
"FOOD FOR ALL MY FRIENDS" is coming out on the 25th of June!
All the songs are bops & things like that. You can view the current webpage
for the EP which includes its cover & the tracklist here.
I really hope you will listen to it and enjoy it!
There will be more FFAMF content very soon!
Hello! I'm all done with uni for the summer,
so now I have more time to work on my music.
In this post I'm announcing that there may or may not
be an announcement on Friday about something to do with an EP
that may or may not be made by me. I'm trying to set up a music
video shoot/photo shoot today to do asap with my friends.
Anyway that's all I have to say rn. All the old posts will be kept
on a seperate page linked below now. Thanks for reading.
Today I am making this very website!
I am currently working on two big music projects. The first is coming very soon
and is called 'FOOD FOR ALL MY FRIENDS'. Despite being 4 songs long it's taken a year
to make because I don't know what I'm doing. It's coming out in June. The other project
is a full length album called 'Abe Apeman's Peace Parade' and it's going to be great.
I should be recording it over June & July and releasing it later this year.
I will be keeping updates on the album on all my little places on the internet.
To celebrate the momentus creation of this website, here is a demo for a scrapped doo-wop
song I wrote in early 2020: Drive link
One more thing! I am also rehearsing with my live band 'The Skeletons'
at the moment to prepare for performing my songs live in the future!
Thanks for reading!
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